Log in

No account? Create an account
godfucker [entries|friends|calendar]
Death to the Infidels

[ userinfo | livejournal userinfo ]
[ calendar | livejournal calendar ]

Not Too Politicaly Correct [18 Sep 2006|10:25pm]


I went into a public-'ouse to get a pint o' beer,
The publican 'e up an' sez, "We serve no red-coats here."
The girls be'ind the bar they laughed an' giggled fit to die,
I outs into the street again an' to myself sez I:
O it's Tommy this, an' Tommy that, an' "Tommy, go away";
But it's "Thank you, Mister Atkins", when the band begins to play,
The band begins to play, my boys, the band begins to play,
O it's "Thank you, Mister Atkins", when the band begins to play.

I went into a theatre as sober as could be,
They gave a drunk civilian room, but 'adn't none for me;
They sent me to the gallery or round the music-'alls,
But when it comes to fightin', Lord! they'll shove me in the stalls!
For it's Tommy this, an' Tommy that, an' "Tommy, wait outside";
But it's "Special train for Atkins" when the trooper's on the tide,
The troopship's on the tide, my boys, the troopship's on the tide,
O it's "Special train for Atkins" when the trooper's on the tide.

Yes, makin' mock o' uniforms that guard you while you sleep
Is cheaper than them uniforms, an' they're starvation cheap;
An' hustlin' drunken soldiers when they're goin' large a bit
Is five times better business than paradin' in full kit.
Then it's Tommy this, an' Tommy that, an' "Tommy, 'ow's yer soul?"
But it's "Thin red line of 'eroes" when the drums begin to roll,
The drums begin to roll, my boys, the drums begin to roll,
O it's "Thin red line of 'eroes" when the drums begin to roll.

We aren't no thin red 'eroes, nor we aren't no blackguards too,
But single men in barricks, most remarkable like you;
An' if sometimes our conduck isn't all your fancy paints,
Why, single men in barricks don't grow into plaster saints;
While it's Tommy this, an' Tommy that, an' "Tommy, fall be'ind",
But it's "Please to walk in front, sir", when there's trouble in the wind,
There's trouble in the wind, my boys, there's trouble in the wind,
O it's "Please to walk in front, sir", when there's trouble in the wind.

You talk o' better food for us, an' schools, an' fires, an' all:
We'll wait for extry rations if you treat us rational.
Don't mess about the cook-room slops, but prove it to our face
The Widow's Uniform is not the soldier-man's disgrace.
For it's Tommy this, an' Tommy that, an' "Chuck him out, the brute!"
But it's "Saviour of 'is country" when the guns begin to shoot;
An' it's Tommy this, an' Tommy that, an' anything you please;
An' Tommy ain't a bloomin' fool -- you bet that Tommy sees!

- Rudyard Kipling
1 comment|post comment

Actions Of A True Hero [07 Aug 2006|02:08pm]
You know what I did? I'll fucking tell you.  I was sitting around all bored, when I saw this tree and this tree was fucking dangerous! My first reaction was, Oh shit that tree's going to shank me! But then my natural reaction to protect forced me to yell at it "hell no, you fucking tree. You're not getting away with this shit!".

I grabbed my knives and started using my mad crazy ninja skills to fight it off.  Just when everything seemed hopeless the spirit of my master showed up and reminded me how that one time by the pool we where just talking shit and he told me about tree's biggest weakness. Armed with this newly rediscovered knowledge I got out my lighter fluid, sprayed it right in the tree's cunt and fucking set that shit on fire.

With it's soul at peace and its cunt on fire I was finally able to lay down my arms and rest.  I sat down on some near by steps and a little boy who watched the whole thing ran up to me and said "Mr. Mr. you're my hero. You should fight crime". So I bitch slapped him, got up and walked away. As I passed him however I said "The world never did anything for me, I just don't like trees with knives".
post comment

[03 Aug 2006|10:07am]
There are many things that piss me off. But there are few things that are guaranteed to piss me off. One of those is Modern Art. What a bunch of fucking bullshit. How exactly is some chick painting circles with her menstrual blood art?!? That's what drives me crazy about it, this abuse of symbolism. That is what they do, they use symbolism as a body shield to explain their lack of talent.

"Its making a statement" my ass, anything asinine in the wrong light could be a statement. One time for art class I hawked up a big loogie and spit it right onto some paper, was that lazy of me, stupid? You're fucking right it was, yet it was still a valid statement. The problem is that it could be about anything, the government's opinion on an issue, the state of affairs in the world, life through the eye of a camel, fucking anything.

And that ladies and gentleman is exactly what these people do, these "artists". They make a pile of boots and call it art, they paint a 3 inch dot on a 40 by 40 ft canvas and call it art, and every time they do they spit in you face. What they do is nothing more than a fucking insult to everyone's intelligence.

This was healthy, this was good. Letting all that shit out. I feel better, calm, tranquil. Feel sorry for the art museum though, it kinda went up a couple notches on my Must Burn list. It must be the Russian part of me that wants to purge things so badly. Ah Stalin, you under appreciated and unacknowledged mass murderer. When will they let you out of Hitler's shadow? You where so much more and so much better at it.
post comment

Knocked Out By The Curtain Dropping [27 Jun 2006|03:49am]
I have run out of funny things to say. Well thats not exactly true, I just no longer feel like amusing at most a handfull of people who have seen this. I guess I could post a couple of my rants, but why bother. If you have any intrest, any at all, I suggest you go to the very beginning. Thats where all the funny stuff is.
post comment

Joy [26 Apr 2006|08:12pm]
[ mood | ecstatic ]

Joy joy joy. At last joy.

post comment

If Your Emo And You Know It [21 Jan 2006|02:35am]
[ mood | laughing ]

I fucking hate you. I don't have the energy or the believe that anyone actually emo will have enough brain cells to listen to fucking reason. So im going to put up a link to amuse everyone and hopefully make some lucky few spontaneously combust. You know what they say "If you just believe"

watch this or else!

post comment

Time To Proselytize! [05 Jan 2006|03:37am]
[ mood | wide eyed ]

While watching South Park (the PSP episode) there was a shot of the heavens. And it hit me, an epiphany of Divine Magnitude. All the fog was cleared and I was finally able to see The Truth. I will tell it to you as it was revealed to me, but let me warn you, words are palfrey when compared too actually Seeing it and Knowing it is The Truth.

God and Heaven are on the other side of the black holes and when we die our souls fly up into outer space where they are sucked into the black holes to Heaven. But if you where bad your soul remains tainted, and the earth's gravity affects it and drags it down into the Earth's center where it burns for eternity.

Now on the face of it, it sounds crazy and ridiculous. That is only because you lack Faith. Think about it, it fits everything we know about black holes and God.

1. Heaven is up, Hell is down.
We float into Outer Space and sink down into Molten Lava

2. No one knows whats on the other side.
Just like no ones been back from the dead to tell us of Heaven no one has been on the other side of a black hole. In fact, that is further proof of God's power.

3. Rise and Fall
The righteous, with no sin on their soul aren't weighted down and so are able to escape the Earth's gravity (a tool of the Devil) and float their way to God's warm embrace.

4. Things suck on Earth
Because Hell is right here at the center of the globe, Satan is not only closer but is able to directly interfere with the events going on. God on the other hand can only operate through windows known to us as black holes. Console yourself, True Believers, that while we are over the shadow of Lucifer the rest of the universe suffers not.

5. Final Call
This more than proves that God is mightier than Beelzebub. God has the entire universe to oversee while Ash-Shaytan is stuck here, imprisoned. You might even say that we are the guards and it is our duty to do good to deprive Hell's furnaces of fuel. We shall have el Diablo shivering yet.

In conclusion, There is only one God and South Park is his Prophet.

post comment

People Should Stop Breeding [26 Jun 2005|09:33pm]
Reason #7- They take up all the parking spaces.
1 comment|post comment

Heres An Entry Damn It, So Choke On It Or Something [24 May 2005|09:13am]
[ mood | wired ]

There are times in our lives where we are "between" control substances. In other words, we ain't got no drugz. And if you're like me and just arn't into "sniffer" paraphernalia I have an option for you.

Insomnia - Man its a bitch.

Stay up for a couple of days and you'll get all the classic bonuses that are normally connected to the run of the mill shit. Heres just of the shit I go through;

Paranoia and Hallucinations: Every five minutes I freak out cause I think I see a bug fly by...a bug that wants to kill me. I normally pay a lot of attention to the things at the edge of my vision so when I'm on a insomniac marathon (not the show) this goes into overdrive. Every flicker causes a full body turn around with a crazy cringe, yelling and screaming is sometimes a bonus. So let me just vocalize what you're probably thinking, "Mmm Good times" It sure is.

Funny Boned: You all know what I'm talking about. The funny part of getting stoned. Where the most asinine comment will send you into laughing attack. Hell, wiggling fingers make me laugh so hard I fall out of my chair and bash my head against the desk.

Twitching: When you havn't slept in three days trust me you'll do nothing but twitch.

Staring: When stare at a wall for six minuts you know somethings wrong. And I'm not talking about "thinking about something else" staring I'm talking about "theres a picture of a naked lady there, and only I can see it" staring.

post comment

Damn, What A Sick Joke [01 Apr 2005|05:58pm]
I'v always known my school has a sick sense of humor, its just taken 4 years for them to prove it. While enjoying my last period of the day I get a note from the office by way of teacher, it says to come down to the office for get together with the dean. Retorting with a "via con dios" to my teacher's "syanora" I went down to the office, only to sit in an uncomfortable chair for 20 minutes. After finally getting inside the Dean of Student's office we sit down, the first words out of his mouth are "You're not welcome here anymore" then he paused and said "get the fuck out" well maybe that part didn't happen, but the rest is true. And thats how I ended my career at Westmont High School.

Here is where the joke comes in. Nobody believed me when I got back to class! They all laughed and mocked my attempt to fool them on April Fools day. I'm not kidding, NO ONE BELIEVED ME. That bastard Degrazia did this on purpose! By doing this on the first of April he cut off all my support. No parade with protest signs when everybody thinks you're kidding.

The part that really bothers me though is that I'm not going to get my yearbook. I purposely held off getting a yearbook the first 3 years and what happens? I get kicked out of school two months before its even MADE. To humor me they passed around a piece of paper, instead of encouragement I got remarks that went to the tune of "haha its about time". Obviously no one believed me. Thats okay though, because I know they think I'm joking and where just messing with me, so even those comments are cool (some seriously funny). It would have been nice to tell other people though, people in my Bio, Government, and English classes NEED to know.

Of course, my parents had NO trouble believing it. After telling me how I'v ruined my life and am now doomed to work in Burger King etc etc, my mom bailed and has been gone for about 8 hours now. My dads been in his room, and hasn't looked at me yet. Thats a good thing though, I don't want to talk to them. They obviously think I should care and I really don't. Oh well fuck them. Fuck them all.
4 comments|post comment

FAQ [24 Mar 2005|09:56pm]
[ mood | ecstatic ]

Thats Frequently Asked Questions for the acronym impaired.

What is your real name?
None of your god damn business thats what my name is!

How old are you?
Old enough to know that anybody asking for my age is probably some 46 year old fat guy beating off to a picture of a 10 year old fantasizing its me. So lets just say I'm TO old and leave it that, pervs.

Tell me about your day.
Pfffft, I'v got better things to do than tell stories of my awesome day to losers with no lives. You get what I see fit! Got it, bitch?

Whats with the cussing?
I'v found it that people are mindless sheep who only understand a sheep hound's commands, my swear words are you commands. So when I say "eat shit and die", I mean it.

Why do you have to be such a dick all the time?

Same reason you have to be such a pussy all the time.

You said that you want to kill Children/Retards/Skiers etc... are you serious?
Probably, If I say i hate something most likely I mean it. And if i don't, I probably don't like it anyway. So why not kill them?More breathing room for the rest of us, right?

Are you a Nazi?
Jesus! Make one reference to Lebensraum and the whole world things your a Hitler fucker. I'm Russian for fuck's sake, we can't be Nazis.

Why do you hate everyone and everything?
Nah I'm just kidding when i said that.

Fuck no!  Its called sarcasm, now listen to me as I laugh at you hahahahahahaha

5 comments|post comment

Holy Shit [23 Feb 2005|09:38pm]
[ mood | heart broken ]

Gods Pissed! and shes punnishing me!

post comment

Pills are for Pussies [12 Jan 2005|08:38pm]
[ mood | cold ]

I havn't slept in 3 days I think I'm starting to lose my mind. I know for a fact im seeing things and luckily I havn't re-entered my hyper swing yet, but I can feel it coming up next. Oh well I will be ready. Sleep deprivation is a bitch.

7 comments|post comment

[05 Jan 2005|09:54pm]
Fuck Asia.
1 comment|post comment

A Bit Tiring but Necessary [29 Dec 2004|10:30pm]
I know I say this often, but it must be said. DEATH...
this time to SKIERS. Those pieces of no good, no talent SHITS. If one more cuts me off on the slopes I'm jumping up and ramming my board in their fucking spine! Those fucking asswipes can't turn, not a single one. So they go .44445 miles an hour crisscrossing the slope. Theres NO way around them, they take up everything.

I'v lost count on the number of times I'v been cut off or crashed into those mutterfichters. So now I offer a solution; Kill every known skier, Nuke every known ski making factory, and socially condition all future generations to hate skiers.

Maybe after this, the world will be a better place and the wonderful mountains of Tahoe will be board-able.

we can only hope.
post comment

The 5th Horseman of the Apocalypse [12 Dec 2004|10:37pm]
[ mood | cheerful ]

And its name is Credit. Thats right bitch, I got me a Platinum Card. Drinks are on the house.

Now I'd like to say more, but im busy ordering me something special from China. Mmm can't wait till she gets here.

5 comments|post comment

Death Has A Shadow [02 Nov 2004|08:57pm]
[ mood | high ]

I wish my grandmother would die. I don't have anything against her, in fact because I have practically no contact with her,I actually tolerate her. But when she dies I get her car. Its nothing special, just a 2001 Honda Civic, but I still want it. In fact I want it bad enough for her to die. Diediediediedie

Does that make me a bad person? Ooh I hope not because I'm a good little boy and when I die I want to go to heaven, ahahaha. Oh god this weed is awesome

6 comments|post comment

[16 Oct 2004|10:35pm]


So much trouble to learn something newCollapse )

2 comments|post comment

URGENT: About Fucking Time [12 Oct 2004|10:58pm]
[ mood | accomplished ]

I'v finally hit the over 25 entries mark. And while its taken me awhile all I'v got to say is every single entry amounts to pure genius. So heres entry number 27 saying fuck you.

post comment

(Motherfuckers) RENAMED: Somebody Get These People A Helmet [04 Oct 2004|05:02pm]
[ mood | hope you die mood ]

UPDATE: I'm sure it comes to no surprise to those who know me when I say that I didn't go. I was on my way there when I decided that I don't care if some fags ruin there lives. So I went to a movie instead. My opinion of it will be in the next post.

My school is populated by retards. For some misguided reason the administrative staff has looked at my record and went

" Well, we have here a troublemaker who won't do any work. I know! Lets triple his work load"

so now I'm doing regular school, on line courses, AND night school. Thats why I fill my days with browsing my Cookbook looking for the best ways to burn down the school, hack the courses, and fail the fucks in night school.

I havn't started night school yet, but it is sure to be full of dog raping monkeys. And while I'm there because I'm lazy they are sure to be retards who can't count past nine because they cut off a toe while clipping.

Other than that things are "peachy". I'v acquired a new camera, I looked it up on the net and its worth around a grand. Its so fucking awesome, its a Video/Photo Camera hybrid with all the trimmings. I'm sure its former owners in Japan are going nuts trying to find it. Fucking tourists. Oh and a note to the wise while in a foreign country, don't loose the camera that you used to tape your self and your lesbian lover.

If I had their address, id mail them ten bucks just for the talent they displayed and I'm the kind of guy that steals from blind beggars. Stupid hobos.

And while work sucks, it does offer up some interesting moment(not to mention the money)like four year olds falling. Have you ever seen one run down a slope trip over nothing and fall on his ass? Its funny. They sit for like two minutes trying to figure out what the fuck happened and then start crying cause their hands are a different color. Its moments like those that I cherish.

Its eight and night school starts in ten minutes, oh well they can fucking wait.

post comment

[ viewing | most recent entries ]
[ go | earlier ]